Going Dutch Season 2 Episode 1 Recap: Going Dutch Goes Full Laser Warfare — And It’s Absolutely Unhinged
- Barbara
- 2 days ago
- 8 min read
The new season begins now! The zany group of characters assigned to a US military base in the Netherlands has returned.
Today, at USAG Stroopsdorf, they are out early completing the required Physical Training (PT) Test. Colonel Patrick Quinn, Captain Maggie Quinn, Major Abraham Shah and Sergeant Conway are out on the PT track clocking the running portion of the PT Test on Corporal Papadakis. The now fit and svelte, corporal who lost 40 pounds, only has to run a 10-minute mile is running 20 secs behind required time. Captain Maggie asks her Dad, the Colonel, if he’s going to pass Papadakis. Colonel Quinn says he’s not. Papadakis doesn’t seem to be capable of improving his speed as he passes them crying he’s going to die.
Sergeant Conway and Captain Maggie yell encouragement to Papadakis as he rounds the track again huffing and puffing. Surprisingly, Colonel Quinn also believes in Papadakis and asks Major Shah to deploy their new recruit, a dog. The cute little dog comes out to chase Papadakis, barking and snapping at his feet. That’s positive reinforcement in Colonel Quinn’s eyes. Major Shah is enjoying it as the dog nips at Papadakis’ heels but observes Papadakis is still 10 seconds behind. Captain Maggie watches in disbelief, and asks her Dad and Major Shah if they trained a dog to attack Papadakis. Papdakis is running to get away from the new recruit. It’s kinda working, but Papadakis still needs to improve his speed.
Colonel Quinn calls for Operation “Who’s-a-Bad-Boy” deployment. That’s truly an unbelievable and hilarious tactic. It’s really Colonel Quinn running behind Corporal Papadakis menacingly while carrying a knife. Papdakis kicks into overdrive and flies by them yelling “He’s gone insane!” Sergeant Conway shouts at Papadakis that he passed the Army Fitness Test, and he can stop running now. A terrified Papadakis looks back and yells that they won’t stop chasing him. I’m sorry, but I started laughing out loud.
The show’s new intro highlights four of the main characters in colorful, cutely striking poses specific to their well-known personalities. They are surrounded by military equipment that should be specific to their occupations. There is a short reintroduction of what USAG Stroopsdorf is really like as it displays troops assigned to the base in their element doing what they love doing.
Colonel Quinn and Major Shah enter the old bowling alley. Quinn is proud that they were able to change what he believed was a useless place into the best urban training center in all of Europe. He says now Stroopsdorf will be known for three things. Major Shah reminds him that he was supposed to get General Davidson’s permission to build this new center, and Quinn said “How’s he going to find out?”
Suddenly they hear General Davidson’s voice. He walks in with his aide and angrily demands why Colonel Quinn had the bowling alley destroyed. He was going to join the bowling alley league and they already had shirts made for his group “The Pin Up Boys” made. He wants to know if Quinn was deliberately trying to provoke him. Quinn is surprised by all this and tells the general they need to stay ready and prepared for anything. He thinks that is more important than bowling. The general says he bowls good, and the colonel counters with the fact “...he armies good”. He says he is considered one of the greatest military minds of his generation, and reminds them of the Quinn Maneuver being taught at West Point. General Davidson tells him it’s not being taught because it’s been removed from the tactical training course. He says it was irrelevant, stupid and reckless like Quinn is.
General Davidson tells Colonel Quinn he’ll be at the destroyed bowling alley with the Paratroopers of the 173rd and they will teach Quinn about the chain-of-command. There will be no rules in this force-on-force simulated combat. Quinn tells him to bring it on, he’s ready for a challenge. The general tells Quinn he’s not battling with his unit, it will be just the general and the paratroopers fighting themselves. Quinn won’t be invited.
Later, Quinn asks Major Shah and Captain Quinn to verify what the general told him about his tactical maneuver being removed from West Point training, and it’s true. They show him the evidence. Colonel Quinn feels humiliated. He’ll be watching combat on his own base while not involved. He storms out, and Captain Maggie asks Major Shah if her Dad will be okay. Shah assures her he will be, because he’s processing. He explains that it's her Dad plotting to destroy his enemy. Captain Maggie says that’s more like her Dad.
Maggie and Shah are having a strange relationship. They were on the verge of dating until his wife returned to try to work things out between them. Now, Maggie is stuck pretending she isn’t falling in love with Shah. Major Shah doesn’t see the obvious, so Maggie plays along. Colonel Quinn interrupts them, and Shah is impressed at how quickly the colonel processed this.
The colonel starts plotting and lets them in on his plans. Captain Maggie and Major Shah tell him that sounds a lot like kidnapping. Colonel Quinn says it’s more like waylaying, and Captain Maggie is a little disturbed at how her Dad has the legal kidnapping statute memorized. He proudly says it’s because he’s a patriot.
Next, Papadakis is in a van with the Paratroopers on the Belgian countryside border. He explains they are at the drop-off point as ordered. The paratroopers get out, and Corporal Papadakis drives off leaving them stranded. They are clueless.
Back at the base, the Stroopsdorf unit put on the paratroopers equipment which looks more like laser tag equipment. Major Shah points out that General Davidson’s team won’t know them, and they are officially the red team. The general’s team is the blue team. Sergeant Conway is the voice of reason and asks why they want to embarrass themselves like this by attacking their direct superior and his super soldiers. Major Shah tells her the general wanted no rules combat. That means there’s no rule preventing them from playing. Captain Maggie is in her element playing with the equipment and volunteers to be the decisive point. Her Dad tells her no, and reminds her it’s not “Take Your Daughter to War Day.” She argues it is and reminds him of her past he missed. Colonel Quinn takes away her gun, and tells his soldiers to get ready. Captain Maggie says she really is his secret weapon. Colonel Quinn looks at the gun he took from Captain Maggie and pulls the trigger, and that’s when he realizes they really are playing laser tag.
The Stroopsdorf Unit gathers in the dining facility and suit-up. In walks Jan dressed for the previously scheduled disco competition. One of the soldiers tells him disco was cancelled, and he says it may be cancelled but you can’t stop the beat.
General Quinn and Major Shah give the troops their final briefing in the dining facility. Shah reminds them of what to expect, and how they are supposed to win. Colonel Quinn says the shock is going to be a lot stronger than expected because he had Papadakis hack the system to increase the shock intensity to getting tased repeatedly. It’s gonna hurt a lot. Maggie tries to inspire the troops, and it’s not working, especially with her Dad’s input. He tells them the truth, that any other day they don’t stand a chance, but today they have the element of surprise. They are going to war in ten minutes.
Sergeant Conway goes to see Major Shah at the laser tag command center, and volunteers to hold down everything there while Major Shah leads the troops into battle. He tells her the Colonel wants her in the first wave on the front lines. Sergeant Conway is shocked, and tells him none of them are really soldiers. She points out the strangeness of one of the other soldiers. She doesn’t want to be embarrassed. Major Shah tells her they were given an order that they need to follow. He finds that freeing.
Captain Maggie is having a weird day as well. Major Shah’s wife, Celeste, comes over to talk to her. She’s glad they have a chance for a ‘morning hang’. Celeste says she is a kind of a witch and can sense things. She says Major Shah talks a lot about her. Things just couldn’t get any more uncomfortable, and Captain Maggie escapes.
Captain Maggie goes to ask her Dad again to be the decisive point. He says “no” because that will be Major Shah. He has the most combat experience. Captain Maggie says Shah is more focused on his wife than the mission. She shows her Dad, and he changes his mind, making her the decisive point. Captain Maggie congratulates him on guaranteeing himself a victory. She is fired up and in trash talking mode. She says she’s going to turn those paratroopers into an edible arrangement.
In General Davidson’s Laser Tag Combat Center, his aide tells him they have a ping from the red team’s flag. The games begin. At Colonel Quinn’s position, inside a shipping container, he tries to calm Sergeant Conway’s anxiety. His reassurance is unsuccessful. He says he refuses to be embarrassed. The blue team attacks and opens a shipping container where the new dog recruit rushes at them and attacks, then runs off. The Stroopdsdorf soldiers' red team exits a shipping container on the other side and starts firing. They take down all the blue team paratroopers.
The general orders his blue team to strike another location. They hit the wrong shipping container earlier. Colonel Quinn radios Captain Maggie and tells his decisive point she’s up. She’s camouflaged in and ready to go. She starts firing and hits each blue team member. She is enjoying this. Major Shah, Celeste and Corporal Papadakis exit the building and find the blue team soldiers on the ground. Captain Maggie sees Celeste and Major Shah celebrating, and fires at Celeste, taking her down.
General Davidson’s aide says the maneuver was weird and shouldn’t have worked. Davidson angrily recognizes the “Quinn Maneuver”.
A party breaks out in the Urban Training Site, DJ’d by Jan, to celebrate the Stroopsdorf Victory. Colonel Quinn thanks his troops, and singles out the MVP, Scraps the dog. Captain Maggie is shocked and tells him she’s the one who took out most of the blue team single handedly. Colonel Quinn says the gun data results show something different. Captain Maggie is upset and gets Corporal Papdakis to verify. She asks how the blue team could erase their data.
Colonel Quinn is sitting enjoying his maneuver’s success and suddenly gets a call from General Davidson. He says he just took command of the real red team. The waylaid paratroopers just arrived. Colonel Quinn strategizes on taking out the real red team. Captain Maggie tells him not to worry because she will take care of that. She's stunned so hard as she exits the building with her gun. That was her strategy, so she could get to the ‘Dead’ Tent. Maggie and Celeste meet again. She resets their systems. The war games continue.
Colonel Quinn pulls his Stroopdorf Team together and says they are flanked on both sides, and might have to surrender. Corporal Papadakis tells him he owes passing his Army Fitness Test to the colonel. Sergeant Conway tells the colonel thanks to him she wouldn’t have found out she was great at being a laser killer if he hadn’t put the gun in her hands. They were all encouraging the colonel. Captain Maggie and Sergeant Scrapy say Quinns never quit. They change their plans and it involves help from Jan, the DJ.
General Davidson and his paratroopers enter the training center. He asks Colonel Quinn if he has any last words. Quinn turns around and the reflection of the back of his laser vest gets the blue team’s shots reflected at them. Jan and the Stroopsdorf Team take out all of General Davidson’s Blue Team. Colonel Quinn can’t celebrate just yet.
Later, all the Stroopsdorf Team celebrate at the local civilian bar. Corporal Papadakis is happy he is a real soldier. Colonel Quinn congratulates Captain Maggie on tagging Celeste. He was annoyed by Celeste and Major Shah’s happy dance, too.
There were some changes made that seemed to improve the show. I liked the laser tag games and how Stroopsdorf came together for Victory. The addition of Sergeant Scrappy was super. The show was entertaining and brought some good laughs.
I give it 4 Stars out of 5.
What did you think?
Loved it
Hated it
So/So
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